Why Can’t I Speak?
March 2026, Estepona, Spain
By Ahza Rex
Why, oh why,
Can’t I speak
Like everybody else?
Why does my voice
Betray me?
My hands shake,
I’m sweating profusely.
My heart races
And my mind goes blank.
Why, oh why,
Can’t I speak
Like everybody else?
Why does my voice
Betray me?
My tongue twists—
My thoughts go astray—
My vision blurs
And I can no longer see
What is in front of me.
I just want
My voice to work
For me.
To speak up loudly
Not just for you,
But also for me.
To say what is on my mind,
My heart’s desire,
My soul’s lonely cry.
The repercussions,
They are so dire.
I’m quivering,
But somehow—
I can no longer keep myself silent.
Somehow I must break this silence.
Please—
My body—
My voice—
Just work for me.
I feel like I’m bleeding.
No one is listening.
No one is even watching.
Why can’t I just say—
Help me?
Look!
Someone is watching.
Maybe they’re listening.
But now I don’t know
What I was even going to say.
Why, oh why,
Can’t I speak
Like everybody else?
Why won’t they hear me?
My hands shake,
I’m sweating profusely.
My heart races
And my mind goes blank.
Why, oh why,
Can’t I speak
Like everybody else?
Why does my voice
Betray me?
My tongue twists—
My thoughts go amiss—
My vision blurs
And I can no longer see
What is even in front of me.
I can no longer breathe.
I thought I’d been
Communicating
All this time.
But those around me
Don’t seem
To be listening.
Maybe, I don’t think,
I even speak their language.
I’m trying my hardest
But no one—
Around me—
Seems to even—
Be trying—
To understand.